There's a horse tied to my ankle, a dog hanging off my elbow
A dirty old ashtray comin' out of my mouth
They stuff me with straw and dress me up like a scarecrow
And the birds going crazy in my face
And I said, "oh oh ooooooooh!"

Well I was covered with honey and stuck under a beehive
I was thrown out in the bullring all dressed in red
The way things have been going lately
I think I was better off dead
I said, "oh oh ooooooh"

I crossed my hands together in prayer
Angels came down and told me it was no good
I said, "What the hell do you think you even know?"
"I'm only trying to believe in God"
I said, "oh oh ohhh"