Touch Dolphins
By: Beck Hansen
Written by: Beck Hansen

  1. Touch Dolphins
Touch Dolphins [Version (a)]:

[from June 8 2005 version]

Yea, touch dolphins
I fuckin' love you guys!
[crowd keeps singing chorus to "Loser"]
You guys are great!
I wanna touch every one of you!
I wanna touch all of you!
I want you to touch each other
I really really want you to touch dolphins
Because dolphins are the secret to the fuckin' universe
Right here, tonight
And I also like chicken
Fuckin' love chicken
But I like, motherfucking dolphins!
Motherfucking dolphins!
Reach out and fuckin' touch some dolphins
I'd like to acheive world peace in the next five minutes
Right here, we're gonna do it
Right here, right now
Reach your hand up into the sky
And say "Dolphins are real!"
This is the greatest fuckin' moment in my life!
Right now and I'm gonna live it
At least for another 20 seconds
OK, I think it's over now
It's not the fuckin' best moment of my life
But you know I still want to touch dolphins
1, 2, 3... TOUCH DOLPHINS!
Fucking touch dolphins
Feels so good, touch dolphins in the water
Touch dolphins
You all know what I'm talkin' about?
Because I don't know what I'm talkin' about
Fax that to your grandma!
Here to defy the logic of all dolphin laws!
["Sexx Laws" starts]
The Song:

Beck "sang" this little piece on June 8, 2005 in Amsterdam. After "Loser" had finished, he and his band played a slow electro-version of "Loser" briefly, as the crowd sang the chorus.

This somehow turned into some new age-y music, with Beck rambling on and on about dolphins. It's pretty funny, and clearly Beck is winging it from the absurd corner of his brain. The funniest part is one of the band members' backing vocals about "touching dolphins in the water" and seeing epiphanies and stuff.

He's done it a couple other times. It's a riot.

Played live 3 times:
Earliest known live version: June 8, 2005
Latest known live version: July 16, 2005

Beck "ad-libbed" along these lines a few times during his 2005 tours.