Come gather round me, people, here's a story you never heard
'Bout me and my friends and some shit that occurred.
Well, we thought that we'd take a trip. We thought that we would go
Spend a weekend pleasant down in Mexico.

Well, I was working at McDonald's, doing the late night run
When a car pulled up the drive-thru and pointed out a gun.
Said, "Give us all your money and three Big Macs to go."
I stuffed them all in a bag and I ducked down below.

Well, the boss got angry when he found out I didn't call the police.
I guess I was kinda nervous. There was a warrant out on me
Concerning some jaywalking tickets I couldn't afford to pay.
Needless to say, I got the axe that same day.

Well, me being out of work just then, I didn't want to go home.
My Mom said if I lost this job, I'd have to go out on my own.
So I went over to Dave's house and got really stoned,
Called up some girls, but none of them were home.

Well, Steve came over and brought some alcohol.
We were all gettin' really depressed just staring at the wall!
Well, we thought we'd get some money. We thought that we might go
Spend a weekend pleasant down in Mexico.

Steve's Dad had a hunting rifle and we went and picked it up.
We went and stopped at a 7-11 to try our luck.
Now we pulled out that hunting rifle, but the counter guy just laughed.
As he pulled out an Uzi, we turned and hauled ass.

We were running so fast until we came to the McDonald's where I worked.
We walked up to the drive-thru and gave my boss a jerk.
Said, "Give us all your money and three Big Macs to go.
And suck on this, you weasel! We're going to Mexico."

We all got really wasted. Down South, Dave got a case of the runs.
We were all really hungover and gettin' low on funds.
Dave and Steve called their parents and took the bus back home.
Me, I got a job at McDonald's down in Mexico.