Whimsical Actress
By: Beck Hansen
Written by: Beck Hansen

Version Of: Whimsical Actress

This Version:
 
Lyrics:
At the theatre, I did meet her
And the show was whimsical and sublime
I'm in tatters! Nothing matters
'Til I grasp her big disaster like a mime

She's got the squeegee on the Ouija
She can squeeze me, she can please me anytime
Don't disease me, don't you sneeze me
You can tease me anytime, it's not a crime

In the first act, there was a jester
With an apple and a mango and some wine
He flung the ice cube... he was so rude!
And he jousted with a flaming hoffy dog

She's got the squeegee on the Ouija
She can squeeze me, she can please me anytime
Don't disease me, don't you sneeze me
You can tease me anytime, i's not a crime

In the courtyard, there was a large cube of lard with decorations all around.
There was a bandit. We couldn't stand it. He was sniffing the cube like a hound.
She's got the squeegee on the Ouija. She can squeeze me. She can please me anytime.
Don't disease me. Don't you sneeze me, oh yeah!
 
Live:

Played live once:
July 23, 1993