My Own Best Enemy [Version (a)]:

Yo! Bum rush the show!
There's a cop salivating on the patio
And my mind is in remission
The finger snacks are on display
Traveling in your spirit
It's better to be lonely with bologna
Hey, stack up the bills
The highway is covered with weight-loss pills
And I'm eating all the coupons
They taste like special skin
She's the guy I long for
I'd love to smother her with leftovers
Now there's a dead kid trying to sleep
And the shallow side of things
Never looked so deep
Well, it's less than you expected
'Cause it's more than you could ever know
If you can't pull off bitterness
Some slight alienation could be just as good
And it's the most depressing cop-out
My eyes did ever see
I'd rather be your own
I'd rather be my own worst friend...
Let me try that one more time!
I'd rather be your worst friend
Than my own best enemy!