Lyrics:The day I lose my mind, I'll commit a crime
The day I lose my wine, I'll change the speed of time
I don't need no candle flame
I don't need no bottle shame
I know just what I am: a United Whiskey man
Here to bring the peace, a piece of alcy-hol
Bringing the ringing bell
Bringing my peaceful hell
Roll out the silver scroll
I've got a burning mole
I've got a stolen wife down at the Photomat
It's lucky that I'm living the only way I do
Speaking like a pagan in the mountain dew
Dripping sugar tears
Chewing on my beer
Wiser every day
It's a pure and simple day
Everything out there is coming back inside
The day I lose my mind, the crime will unwind