How Many Biscuits Can You Eat, Anyway?
By: traditional

Written by: traditional

 
Lyrics:
How Many Biscuits Can You Eat, Anyway? [Version (a)]:

How many biscuits can you eat this morning?
How many biscuits can you eat this morning?
How many biscuits can you eat
Buttered hot with molasses sweet
This morning, this evening, right now

Make my coffee good and strong this morning
Make my coffee good and strong this morning
Make my coffee good and strong
Keep on bringing your biscuits along
This morning, this evening, right now

Ain't no use of me working so hard this morning
Ain't no use of me working so hard this morning
Ain't no use of me working so hard
I got a sweetie in a white man's yard
This morning, this evening, right now

Killed a chicken and she saved me the wing this morning
Killed a chicken and she saved me the wing this morning
Killed a chicken and she saved me the wing
Thinks I'm a-working, but I ain't doing a thing
This morning, this evening, right now

Love my wife and I love my babe this morning
Love my wife and I love my babe this morning
Love my wife and I love my baby
Love my biscuit sopped in gravy
This morning, this evening, right now
 
The Song:

In order for it to be more authentic, Beck filled out his Song Reader book with fragments of songs and melodies, as well as fictional album collections and song titles. On the back of "Saint Dude," there are a number albums listed, including the most sensational collection of songs, Prison And Mountain Songs (For Boys). "How Many Biscuits Can You Eat, Anyway?" is listed as part of that.

Many, if not most, of the songs on the back of "Saint Dude" are references to older sheet music songs. "How Many Biscuits Can You Eat?", you may be surprised to learn, is an old bluegrass song from 1928 by Dr. Humphrey Bate and his Possum Hunters. I did not locate any specific sheet music for it online, but a lot of people have covered it, and certainly Beck and the Song Reader people knew the song from bluegrass collections (and added the "anyway? to the title to make it funnier). The old song is very entertaining. I can't tell if it is euphemistic or actually about biscuits.